Author: Bill Konigsberg
What it’s about (in 75 words or fewer): Carson is not looking forward to spending the summer with his dying, estranged father in Billings, Montana, who is still angry about the disappearance of his father (Carson's grandfather) over thirty years ago. Carson's summer becomes more interesting when he meets Aisha, a beautiful teenage lesbian who was kicked out of her father's home. Carson and Aisha vow to find out what happened to Carson's grandfather--why did he leave? Could he still be alive somewhere?
Confession time: I actually read this book back at the end of July and keep renewing it from the library. I had this post in draft mode ever since. It's not that I didn't want to review this book--in fact, Bill Konigsberg's books have inspired me to write a lot; and since this one was my favorite of his books, I wanted this post to be perfect!
As a result, I intimidated myself with my own high expectations and kept putting off finishing the post. 😬
Then, I had so much I wanted to say, I decided to split the post into two parts.
So without further ado, here's part 1 of The Porcupine of Truth.
What I think, Part 1--A question of Identity and Religion: The last eighty pages of this book affected me so profoundly, I was planning to write the post just because of that part of the story. However, after a reread this week, I think I would be remiss not to address the concepts of identity and religion (which are, after all, closely tied together as your identity is partially shaped by your spiritual, or lack of, beliefs).
Identity-- "He had to keep a secret all his life. He lived his life ashamed of who he was" (hardback edition, pg. 256).
The search for and accepting one's identity is an important concept in Carson and Aisha's story.
The first scene of the book is Carson at the Billings Montana zoo, alone, having been dropped off there by his mother so that he could "locate and center" himself. Carson mentions that his mother, a psychologist, seems to analyze him like she does all of her patients, but does not seem to want to find out who he really is, which I find interesting because Carson himself does not seem to have a strong sense of identity.
Carson and his mother are staying in Montana with Carson's father, Matthew, who is dying of cirrhosis of the liver. Carson is a bit miffed at the idea of leaving New York for the summer to visit a father who abandoned him when was just three years old but does not have any close friends that he will miss.
Carson's grandfather also abandoned Matthew when he was a child, and both men were (are) alcoholics. Carson is a bit at a turning point in his life--is he going to follow the footsteps of his father and grandfather, alcoholics who abandon their family?
Carson sets off to find his grandfather ostensibly to give his dad some closure before his dad dies, but an important part of it is for Carson himself--Carson is desiring to know who he is and where he came from. The day at the zoo is pivotal moment for Carson because it is there he meets Aisha, newly graduated from high school, African-American, lesbian, and homeless; she had recently been kicked out her house for coming out to her overly religious father.
Aisha, unlike Carson, has discovered her identity and is very secure in it. When her father threatens to send her to a camp that will "make her straight, through Jesus" she briefly considers humoring him, knowing that the camp won't work, but then thinks:
What if it does work? I saw my reflection in the mirror. I thought about how, if I changed, I'd be someone else. I like me, you know? I thought, My dad has no right. He has no right to take me out of me. So I went out and I said, "Dad, we can work this out. We'll get a therapist over here, and they'll help. I'm not a bad person; I'm just a lesbian. Have been since forever. You know me. I'm your daughter. I was always exactly this way." But my dad. He just wasn't having it" (pg 42).
Even though Carson is so attracted to Aisha that he wonders a few times if she could change (he doesn't voice those ideas aloud, thank goodness; he would get NO pass from me if he did!), he understands that her identity just as she is is very important to her. He admires that (even though he still has a crush!) and thinks that he does not feel as alone with her.
Carson often hides his feelings with his sense of humor, which I appreciate because I also make jokes (or at least have jokes pop into my head) during times in which humor is not a socially acceptable response (which makes it all the more funny--like the "wearing black socks with shorts" joke I made at a funeral once. Totally inappropriate but holy cow it was funny).
When he learns that he, his dad, and his missing grandfather all have the same off-beat sense of humor, Carson wants to solve the mystery of his grandfather even more. He wants to know where he came from, often to the point of seeming selfish to Aisha, who's literally and figuratively on the journey with him:
She [Aisha] turns towards me. "All this trip, it's like, Carson's stuff. We're in my car, but this is Carson's journey. To find your grandfather. Did it ever occur to you, even once, that I might be doing this for myself?"
. . . How come I'm so dense sometimes? She has her own life, and all this time I was treating her thing with her dad like it was some side issue, when for her it's the issue (279).
Religion--"Ah yes. The Jesus," I say. "He's kind of a judgmental prick, isn't he?" (pg. 9).
Religion, spirituality, or lack thereof are important parts of how people, especially those in the United States, define who they are. Aisha was kicked out of her house because of her evangelical religious father. Carson explicitly states that he does not believe in God and throughout the story, he shares that if there were a God, it does not make sense that so many religious people are hateful and that so many good people get sick and suffer.
Carson improvises a comedic tale of the "Porcupine of Truth," who lets people into heaven based on how you answer truth or dare questions. This story becomes the basis of an inside-joke between Aisha and Carson, who even make a model of the revered Porcupine.
At each major part of their journey, Carson and Aisha experience some aspect of religion:
- The conservative Methodist minister who lives next door to Matthew
- A spiritual-but-not-religious older couple who meditate regularly
- A Mormon housewife who tries to help those less fortunate
- Another Mormon who refuses to let his wife talk to a lesbian; and
- A Jewish friend of Matthew who attends an accepting Christian church.
Carson and Aisha, who have their own issues with religion, find parts of each group they can relate to; Aisha learns to appreciate meditating, and Carson enjoys fitting into a group of frisbee-playing Jack Mormons (which I did not know was a thing, but since I was a Cafeteria Catholic for years, I am not surprised).
Differences in the way Aisha and Carson approach and deal with religion define important parts of their characters. Carson has trouble turning off his mind while meditating and is even reminded of some painful childhood memories during which he concludes that if there is a God, He wasn't listening to prayers.
Aisha confronts the Mormon couple who take them in temporarily, berating them for giving money to their church that supported Proposition 8 and considers her to be a sinner. What I liked about both Carson and Aisha's negative religious moments was, well, the lack of preaching (pun not intended). The characters don't overly justify anything. In fact, one character offers up a pretty good philosophical opinion about religion that I really appreciate:
I've learned that the answer to every question about God is 'Yes.' . . . I'm saying that whatever it is a person believes about God is totally, completely, irrevocably true--but only if you add two words . . . For me (pg. 141).
Yes, God is truth for many people, but the type of truth is different for everyone. Turk had an addendum to that philosophy which made me literally LOL:
"She said whatever people believe about God is undeniably true as long as it's followed by the words, for me."
"I like that," Turk says. "And I'll add a resounding 'f*** you' for anytime someone else tries to put their 'for me' on me (pg. 286).
Indeed. I totally agree. but there's still one more religion quote that resonates with me that I haven't highlighted yet:
I have always felt like, if I can sense it, it exists. And if I can't, it doesn't. But what if my senses, like, don't give me all the information? And what if that means that there actually could be, you know, something? . . .
"So now God exists?" she asks me, her voice all funny.
I don't respond. It's just . . . I don't know (pg. 212).
It's amazing, I think, how much you figure out you don't know as you get older. I remember thinking that when I was a grown-up, I would have all the answers, but life keeps getting more and more confusing.
Or maybe I'm not a grown-up quite yet. 😉
This book is on the 2016 Rainbow Book List.
My final takeaway: I'm not ready for the final takeaway--I'm only halfway finished!
Read part 2 HERE. Here is a preview:
"'How much do you know about AIDS?' he asks . . .'Not much,' I say, embarrassed. AIDS has never felt real to me, pertinent to my life as a dorky heterosexual virgin" (pg. 258).
Most of my favorite memorable quotes are above, but here are some more:
- "'You seem to think you know I stand on issues based on my religion,' he says, his voice clipped and practiced. 'Do I know where you stand on issues because you're a lesbian?'" (pg. 187).
- "This is how I was born, and it's okay, Daddy. It is. It's not your fault, and if it is your fault, I thank you because I like me" (pg. 209).
- "I get so sick of a******s hijacking organized religion. Seriously. Somebody told your father, in the name of Christ, to kick you out of the house? Totally unacceptable (pg. 283).
- "There are so many wise people who have taught us so many wise lessons. How can a person choose to follow only some of the wisdom of the world?" (pg. 284).
Other reviews: Ron Reads and Reading, Writing, and Random Musings
This book is available in the Greensboro Public Library.
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