If I Was Your Girl--"Pro-tip: read the author's notes FIRST"

Title: If I Was Your Girl

Author: Meredith Russo

What it’s about (in 75 words or fewer): Amanda moves in with her estranged father to attend a new school for her senior year of high school, and everything seems to be going well for her so far.  She meets a new group of girlfriends and even begins dating Grant. But Amanda has a secret: she is a transgender female and knows that if anyone finds out the truth about her past, her newfound happiness could be over.


What I think: Sometimes I am a brat and flip ahead in the pages of the book to see what's going to happen later in the story.  I sometimes spoil major plot points or even the whole ending for myself when I do this, so I nearly always regret it (but I can't stop doing it because, well, I have no idea).  But anyway, with this book, I actually did not regret flipping through towards the end.

Russo wrote two notes at the end of the book (one for cisgender and one for transgender readers) and a Q&A section, which explain some of her writing choices--and I am so glad I read those before reading the entire book.

My biggest issue with the story was Amanda's ability to pass super-easily, all-the-time, as a biological female (it's even implied that she had had bottom surgery!), which is not very realistic. Amanda was still Andrew her freshmen year in high school, which means she didn't start hormones until she was fifteen at the youngest and would have gone through at least some of male puberty. And theoretically, bottom surgery is possible for a teenager, but not very probable.

Basically, Russo chose to write Amanda as completely passing and having implied bottom surgery in order to make these things not a distraction for those cisgender readers who are completely new to transgender issues. I guess that makes sense.  I really liked Russo's note to transgender readers, which basically says, Amanda is a fictional character, you are not, and you are beautiful just how you are. 💗

Knowing why Russo wrote Amanda like she did took away pretty much all of my issues with the book. If the author's note hadn't have been written, this review would be all about how Amanda lives in a Sweet Valley High world where all people are either beautiful, nerdy, or evil, and all of the drama happens at the big homecoming dance! As I said in a previous review:

Between Sweet Valley High and Saved by the Bell, I was given a very inaccurate idea of what high school would be like.  I'm still waiting for the BIG DANCE these books promised me.  I'm sure it will be life-changing and remembered for all-time.  

However, my heart is not completely cold as ice, and I did read Sweet Valley High books obsessively for YEARS, so complaining a book belongs in the SVH world really isn't complaining for me.

I wish the ending of If I Was Your Girl had been a bit more resolved, but I think it's well-written as is. I really like Grant and his family and have visions of them educating all of the ignorant people in the town.  The conservative religious character is also written very well (written in a fair and balanced way, if you will 😉).

Star Wars references!  Very exciting and very important.

There are some flashbacks of terrifying bullying and a suicide attempt that made me hug my own children a little bit harder than normal. I also wanted to know more about Amanda's mother.  Does she want Amanda to leave, or does she want Amanda to stay away?  I am not sure.

And, Russo?  Why did it have to be the bisexual character who said [spoiler deleted] at the BIG DANCE? I guess it made sense in the context of the story but I was soooooooo disappointed that you made my favorite character the villain!!

(Also, grammatically speaking, the title should be If I WERE Your Girl. Sorry, I'm an English teacher.)


This book is on the 2017 Rainbow Book List.


My final takeaway (in 75 words or fewer):  This book is a good, rather mainstream story about a transgender teenager.

I would recommend it for readers who do not normally read LGBTQ books.  It is a good introductory novel to make readers open their minds about people who are different than the mainstream.

A seasoned reader of LGBTQ novels would also enjoy this book, but I would recommend that they read the author's notes and Q&A before reading the story.


Memorable quotes/passages from the book:

• "'Everybody's got a past,' he said. 'That don't mean you can't have a future'" (paperback edition, pg. 77).
• "Just 'cause I'm bi doesn't mean I have magic powers. I'm not the plucky queer sidekick in your romantic comedy" (pg. 105).
• "A fistfight gets you a black eye but girls destroy each other with just a couple of words.  Guys could never handle what we go through" (pg. 156).
• "I've seen trans people in movies and TV shows, but judging by how unrealistic and s****y bi characters tend to be, I'm gonna assume I know nothing.  So what's okay for me to ask?" (pg. 169).

Other reviews: Dear Author and Plenitude Magazine

This book is available in the Greensboro Public Library.