I don't know how to introduce this except that . . . I don't hate these books; parts of them I like very much. So I don't think they belong in a Did Not Finish or Did Not Bring Me Joy post.
However, there are just overall issues that I have with the storylines that . . . well, I'll just talk about each book and you can make up your own minds.
I was going to write about three books in one post, similar to how I wrote the Marie Kondo-inspired one, but I ended up writing so much about this first book, I am now going to make this post the first of a three-part (at least for now) series called I Got Issues.
Author: Riley Redgate
LGBTQ+ Representation: Bisexual main character, supporting character gay (with off-page m/m relationship), girl/girl kiss.
What it’s about (in 75 words or fewer): Chinese-American Jordan Sun is attending an elite boarding school (on a scholarship) for the performing arts but is tired of never getting cast in any musicals (her low alto voice makes her a tough fit). The Sharpshooters, an all-boys a cappella group, is holding auditions for a tenor, Jordan dresses up as a boy and lands the part. But can she continue to hide her identity in such an elite and competitive group?
I like stories set in boarding schools, and I would have loved to attend a performing arts school when I was in high school. I love the music reference, especially when Jordan mentions that when you sing a cappella, you often get nonsense syllables trapped in your head and you go around singing "dit dit dum duh dah dum dum." That is so true.
I appreciate that Jordan's family is Chinese-American and also poor; this gives her an interesting perspective about all of the rich, privileged kids at her prestigious school.
Jordan also acknowledges, to her credit, that she is cross-dressing, pretending to be Julian, and that this is NOT the same experience as her transgender classmates live everyday. She also does some self-reflection at how differently she is treated as Julian and how she feels as a bisexual.
My issues: The plot requires too much suspension of disbelief for me. Jordan can easily pass as a guy, just with a quick wig and some clothes. Then later, with basically just a haircut. Not buying it.
She just happens to find perfect wigs in the costume department of the theater that look like her hair? That she can sneak out of there without anyone knowing?? Most wigs borrowed from theater costume rooms are kind of gross, and if they were in that good of shape, I would hope they would be locked up or that someone would notice that they were missing.
Jordan sneaks around at night and can easily climb through the windows of her dorm room. This school is supposed to be in New York City (I think--it's definitely in a big city) and there's no security guards, alarms, or cameras? Someone needs to do an expose' on that school. I call BS.
Jordan is also able to sign up for an extracurricular activity with no actual record of "Julian" (her alter-ego) even attending the school. I have been around performing artists of all kinds for pretty much my whole life; we are notoriously nosy people and terrible gossips. Someone would have known who Jordan/Julian was pretty much right away.
And even if the group's faculty sponsor was pretty lax on his "sponsoring"--this new boy would have to fill out paperwork and prove he was a member of the school and something should have tipped them off.
There are a lot of conveniently unused, boarded-up yet easy-to-remodel-and-make-usable for students to sneak into and do their weird fraternity-style initiation rituals. Again, where is the faculty sponsor? What kind of performing arts school is this?
To be honest, I have overlooked plot holes like the ones I've just complained about above, especially in boarding school settings. My real issues come in the form of how binary everyone at this school is.
My experiences growing up and working closely with very artsy people has colored my opinion, but I knew as many people who were questioning their sexuality (or experimenting with it) as I knew people who were completely straight (or completely gay, for that matter). As an adult, I know much more people who are sexually fluid or questioning in performing arts than I know people who are straight.
What I'm saying is, where are all those people in this story? Jordan acknowledges that she's bisexual, but when she kisses another girl (while that girl thinks Jordan is "Julian," a boy), Jordan freaks out. The freaking out doesn't bother me, but when the girl finds out Julian is really a girl, she is all "Oops, I'm sorry. I guess I'm not into you at all."
I think a more realistic response would be "hey, I kissed a girl; maybe I'm not as straight as I thought!" or anger at being deceived. Nope: suddenly all attraction conveniently disappears when Julian is revealed to be Jordan.
When Jordan/Julian gets drunk and tells Isaac (one of the Sharpshooter group members) that he "smells good," Isaac goes a little gay panic for a minute and subsequently outs Julian as gay to the rest of the singing group. Don't teenagers in a performing arts school know that it's NOT OKAY to do something like that? Seriously??
All of the Sharpshooters make a big point of telling Jordan/Julian how okay they are with it. One of them even comes out of the closet to Julian/Jordan. But none of the other boys in the singing group are gay or bisexual or at least questioning? Really? I guess I just know too many queer people. Maybe that's my problem.
Of course, just as soon as "Julian" reveals that he is a she and is "Jordan," Isaac is immediately attracted to her. Did he have those feelings when she is Julian or did these feelings magically appear when he finds out she is penis-less?
Sexuality is often bit murky in real-life (even among high schoolers!), and this book badly needs more bi/pan representation, instead of all these boring binary people 😉.
Like I said above, Jordan realizes that her experience is not the same as transgender person, and I am grateful for that, but I guess I wanted Jordan to feel a bit more guilt about deceiving everyone.
Oh and making the only openly gay character date the villainous character? Super cliche and eye-rolling.
My final takeaway (in 75 words or fewer): I had more issues with the story than I initially thought--I had only planned to write one or two paragraphs. Oh well.
I know that many (maybe even most?) people are okay with binary identities and may even know only straight people. That's okay, obviously. But I think this book emphasizes the binary too much for me--sexuality and gender can be very fluid.
Memorable quotes/passages from the book (from Goodreads):
- “There was something alienating about being on scholarship, a tense mixture of gratefulness and otherness. You're talented, the money said, and we want you here. Still, it had the twang of You were, are, and always will be different.”
- “It was impossible to feel alone in a room full of favorite books. I had the sense that they knew me personally, that they'd read me cover to cover as I'd read them.”
- “It's too simple to hate the people who have doorways where you have walls.”
- “Three or four times, I'd had what I chalked up as weirdly intense friend-crushes: I'd meet a girl, get flustered, get fascinated, and for months, I'd want only to be around her. Where was the line though? Did I want to be around her, did I want to be her, or did I want to be with her?”
Other reviews: Delicate Eternity <--this review says a lot of what I said but better and Rustling Reads
This book is available from the Greensboro Public Library.
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