Just Between Us--"I am not my disease. I am a human being."

Title: Just Between Us
  

Author: J.H. Trumble


What it’s about (in 75 words or fewer): Curtis is home from his freshman year of college, working as a band tech for his old high school band, when he meets band member Luke, and the two are instantly attracted to each other. But just when Curtis decides to act on his feelings for Luke, Curtis takes an HIV test: and it's positive. Depressed and ashamed, Curtis tries to push Luke away, but Luke is determined to be a part of Curtis's life.


What I think (in 250 words or fewer):  Luke appears as a young, pitiable sophomore in Don't Let Me Go but a mature, confident senior in Where You Are--such a drastic difference; I couldn't wait to read what happened in the year between.

I was thrilled to find out that Luke's mom had left Luke's father, making Luke safe from his abuse. I also really like Curtis's dad and sister; they are solid and supportive throughout the book.  Luke is such a nice, somewhat naive kid that you can't help but like--but I thought he acted very out-of-character when he finds out that Curtis has HIV.  I know he is surprised when he hears the news, but it is like Luke is temporarily replaced with a big, insensitive jerk when he was never like that any other time.

Curtis's downward spiral into depression is heartbreaking to read. I can't decide if I admire Luke for sticking around or want Luke to grow a backbone and find someone else. I do know the outcome of the characters' relationship from the previous book's epilogue, but I still wanted more of a resolution at the end. Let's see some happy times between these boys instead of angst.

And speaking of backbone . . . Luke's mom . . . ugh! She needs to grow a backbone when it comes to [spoiler deleted].

I do have to say after reading several depressing and scary books about AIDS, it is nice to read a modern story in which HIV is not a death sentence.


Losing loved ones to AIDS:  I did some research about AIDS in preparation for the books I have reviewed recently.  I received many stories from people who lived through the AIDS crisis of the 80s and 90s but lost loved ones along the way. Here are their stories (edited for clarity and grammar):

• I'm 41, grew up in Michigan, and went to Catholic school. I can remember as a kid they were not 100% sure how you caught it at first. (Sex yeah, but kissing? Nah, probably not.) There was a lot of fear, but distant fear; you didn't actually know anyone who has it or at least admitted having it. 
   
  It was pounded our brains not to have sex, "AIDS is smaller than a sperm, people get pregnant using a condom, therefore if you have sex you're going to die!" Also, it started because gay men in Africa had sex with monkeys and those men moved to Haiti and then the US.
   
  I'm pretty sure the monkey thing was one of those barely believed rumors (or even urban legends) started by ignorant people as a way to distance themselves for the epidemic. I don't have sex with monkeys, I can't get HIV/AIDS.
      
• I am 56 and what I remember about AIDS in the 80s was that supposedly it was God's punishment for being gay. I had a gay friend die of AIDS in 1988, and also a family friend who died after he contracted the virus through blood transfusions. In 1987, my husband had to be tested for AIDS because he had received blood transfusions in a hospital in Houston Texas back in 1982.
     

• I’m 41 and my first memory of AIDS was my Mom telling me not to drink after anyone that wasn’t family because there was a new disease and no one was sure yet how it spread. I was probably 10 or so. Ryan White was not something I heard about until high school in the 90s. I also remember hearing it was only afflicting gays and my younger sister had a friend whose dad had come out as gay and died of AIDS when they were in high school (later 90s). It was very hush-hush.
      

• I graduated high school in 1983, and Rutgers unit (New Jersey) in 1987. I was pretty much clueless. I don't remember talking about AIDS at all, even though the  majority of my friends (gay men) would head into NYC regularly.
    
• I'm 40, grew up in Michigan. My mom was actually a lesbian at the time and we were pretty involved in the community, with the AIDS project and whatnot. I knew how it was transmitted, for the most part. I read Ryan's book when I was little. It broke my heart.
    
• I learned about AIDS in the early 80s, I guess. It was considered a gay disease for sure, but we didn’t really understand it fully. I was embarrassed and mortified when my friend decided to pretend he had AIDS in a coffee house we were in. My sister’s gay ex-boyfriend was there, and thought he was serious. He ended up dying of AIDS several years later. My friend, who wasn’t out at the time, ended up being gay, and dying around 40 of liver disease caused by chronic alcoholism.    
       

• I’m 41; I remember hearing about AIDS before this happened, but it really hit home when my dad’s first cousin, who I adored, died of complications of AIDS when he was 33 (I was 13).
    
• I found out about AIDS in high school, late 80's/early 90's, when Freddie Mercury was so sick and then died. I was heartbroken. I am still a huge Queen fan. I was told it was a gay disease and a punishment, but didn't really believe that because Freddie was such a great guy. I remember the monkey thing, but it was laughed off by kids at my school.
    
• I am 44 and remember when AIDS was called GRID (gay related immune deficiency) with only gay men, drug addicts, and hemophiliacs being stricken, so it was something bizarre but not scary overall to the general public . . . mostly.
  
  I remember people being afraid of those with the disease and debates on whether they should be banned from schools, and a big push for education about it being from body fluid exchange, discussions if deep kissing and/or dental work could pass along the virus (yes, under some circumstances).
  
  I believe it was a factor in gloves being standard for physical exams, especially those that with body fluids--I remember that even in the early 90's, older health care staff were grumbling about having to wear gloves during births, etc, which are HUGELY body fluid intensive, but they felt it was impersonal and they had less grip for slippery babies.    

• In the 80s and early 90s people were very paranoid about ways to "catch" it. I think people who were suffering were nearly ostracized due to people's personal fears, biases and lack of knowledge about it. Several people just kept it to themselves until they were in the worst phase and even then sometimes the cause of death was kept quiet. People were afraid to do something as benign as shake someone's hand if they knew they were infected.
  
  I remember a friend of mine was diagnosed and how much he suffered because at that time treatment was not effective. He was very young and watching his struggle was so difficult. He was in his early 30s and so determined until the end. Thinking of it now makes me feel so sad for him and others who had to deal with the way society dealt with it at large.  Now I know people who have very successful lives and will hopefully live a normal lifespan.
  
  My friend's partner couldn't take it and he left him towards the end. I am not saying this to judge him. That is just what happened. Bill lived in another state and we had several phone conversations at the end. He was so scared and so young to be dying.   
       

• This article "The Woman Who Cared for Hundred of Abandoned Gay Men Dying of AIDS" gives a glimpse into what life was like for people during that time.  [If you've clicked on nothing before, PLEASE make sure you read the article.]

My final takeaway (in 75 words or fewer): I have enjoyed every single J.H. Trumble book I've read, and this one was no exception.  The characters are outstanding and the plot is romantic and dramatic with only a bit of melodrama thrown in (not much melodrama).  With as jaded as I am about some things, I do enjoy a romance with a nice HEA.

And again, HIV in this book is NOT a death sentence.


Memorable quotes/passages from the book:

• "This is not a death sentence, Curtis. Do you hear me? You've got a tough road ahead. But you can fight this. You owe it to yourself and your family to fight this" (paperback edition, pg. 101).
• "I want to be there. I want to be part of this. I'm not afraid of you . . . I love you. Don't you know that?" (pg. 152)
• "HIV is not what defines me. You get that? It is not what defines me. I am not my disease. I am a human being" (pg. 171). 
• "I wanted to be there. I wanted to be a part of everything you've been going through. And I wanted to be close to you. I still do. But you won't let me" (pg. 291).

Other reviews: Binge on Books and Books a la Mode


This book is available in the Greensboro Public Library.